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“One day I jumped off a bridge because all my friends were doing it.”
I’m collecting tales of idiocy and general foolishness
for an upcoming zine project.
Currently looking for stories that would (loosely) fit in these following areas:
1) A Fool and his Money: tales of bad decisions involving cash.
Like buying a $900 plane ticket and then missing the flight by a week.
2) Fool in Love: disasters in romance, dating, and desire.
3) Fun with Drugs and Alcohol: Your chances for idiocy greatly
increase by ingesting various chemicals. Ideas that sound brilliant while
stoned often fail.
4) Outrageous Lies: Schemes that can’t possibly work are attempted
with predictable results. But sometimes they work anyway.
5) Idiot’s Delight: Incredibly stupid things attempted without the aid
of mind-altering chemicals. After all, the quickest way to find out if
the skillet is hot is to pick it up.
6) Murphy’s Law: Major mistakes, goofs, blunders, pratfalls and
real-life slapstick events with the widest audience possible.
7) Impossible Luck: The planets align themselves perfectly to ruin
your day. It’s not your fault, but you still look like a total buffoon.
Obviously there will be some overlap or blurring of lines. Any story
of foolishness is welcome, especially if it is funny, and I would rather
have personal tales of foolishness instead of “friend-of-a-friend” tales.
In preparing for this zine, I’ve hit the 10 million websites covering
“embarrassing moments” and recognize several of the urban legends that
are passed off as real experiences. However, in searching, there does
seem to be a lack of collections featuring drunken behavior, foolish
reasoning
and total failure – especially in the most humorous mode. Can’t say I’m
interested in the foolish act that ends in death and or dismemberment,
but if it’s funny…maybe.
Minor legal-sounding stuff: It’s not my goal to further embarrass
anyone, so I will not reveal the names of anyone in any story, especially if
the story is about someone else. All stories will be read. Not all stories
will appear. In the unlikely event the finished zine launches me into fame
and fortune, I will invite you all to the Hollywood premier. The
invitation will not cover airfare, room or board.
If nothing else, you’ll get the zine for free…
Please send all replies, questions or demands to
foolsdrunksliars@hotmail.com
Spread this notice far and wide!
Thanks!
Grant Schreiber, Fool Miner