David Berman issued the following challenge on 2/14/03.

<The following is from the website http://www.falsedawn.blogspot.com/>

From: "D.C. Berman"
To: kingwenclas
Subject: relevance
Date: 2/14

King,

My name's David Berman, I wrote a book of poems for open city
and heard about you folks from Joanna Yas. I've checked out
your website and agree with a lot of what I see. Moody sucks
and he's rich and its a crime he got a grant. McSweeneys is
fueled by a lot of arrogant nerds (who i count as a more
insidious demographic than standard issue elitists) and open
city published too much euro trash. Yet, i really believe these
people are not the enemy. they actually publish blind
submissions. Its the fusty old journals who wont give a young
writer an even break. i stopped submitting along time ago to
paris review etc. because i cant stand rejection. So i offer
you a challenge. you have seven guys or so on your committee.
select your best writer and i will read against him at your
venue. i will represent open city and paint my face our team
colors your guy paints his face your team colors. after the
reading we will pass out a ballot to the audience they will
vote for which reader fulfills your criteria for good writing.
It will be based on YOUR CRITERIA so you start out with an
advantage. how about it?

sincerely david berman


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From: "Karl Wenclas"
To: dcberman

Dear David,

Thanks for your e-mail. ("Relevance.") It's written from your
own point of view, not from mine. Open City, McSweeney's,
Fence, aren't the ULA's "enemy," but they're hardly on the same
side as zinesters like the ULA, and they make good
representatives of the literary elite. For starters, they're
backed by big money; Open City by the Rob Bingham fortune, as
you know. Their staffs, and most, if not all, of the writers
they publish comprise the young literary elite: prep school
brats mainly; most Ivy League grads from the breeding ground of
this nation's establishment leaders. Ben Greenman works for the
New Yorker, flagship of the literary elite. All have published
Rick Moody. As I'm sure you're aware, most of the writers
chosen to be included for these journals aren't found through
the slush pile, but through friendships, contacts, networking.

(I was in an early issue of Open City myself, by request.) Dave
Eggers has published a host of corporate/NY Times/New
Yorker-backed writers; Moody, Minot, Klam, many others--many of
the same greedy people gobbling up government grant money. The
ULA showed at their celebratory party merely to observe and ask
questions, to start a dialogue. We never even raised our voices
at the event. These "alternative" magazines (alternative to
what?) were forming an alliance among themselves, without a
thought of outreach to true underground/alternative writers and
publications. A consolidation of the trust funders, one could
call it. We saw this as yet another example of the most
privileged in society (by any standard, family background;
education, etc. these folks are among the nation's top few
percent) associating with and aiding themselves, to the
exclusion of everyone else.

That was the point I may have unsuccessfully made about Housing
Works's Darcy in the short, quick piece I put on our site about
that evening; being able to pose as a great benefactor of the
underprivileged, and relieving one's conscience is as old
fashioned as prerevolutionary France, when the real solution is
solving the vast inequities in society--in education, say--that
exist in her own city, between herself and the average person
riding the subway, say; or the abysmal state of health care
that doesn't look out for many Aids victims or many sick of all
kinds in this great wealthy country, and so makes it necessary
for a proper prim stuck-up snob like Darcy to have to throw
crumbs to them. (Darcy is merely an adequate representative for
that entire clueless class.) Will these be some of the things
we can discuss if we do a joint presentation? (Let me address
your suggestion in another e-mail.)

--kingwenclas


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king,

Look King, if you're going to be so civil about this then
disregard my first letter. I thought you were hot-headed
assholes looking for a fight. I got more projects than I can
handle now but I was willing to drop them all
for a good old fashion ass-kicking contest, not some fancy
symposium with wine and cheese. Obviously I'm talking to the
wrong guy. Who's the head asshole over there?

Tell him to call me,
David Berman


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Berman Challenges ULA to Relevance Read-off!
...ULA ACCEPTS!

NEWSFLASH, 2/26/03:

For the record, the ULA has accepted the challenge of David
Berman and Open City for a joint reading. I'm waiting for them
to get back to me about details, so we can set this up quickly.
I've e-mailed Joanna Yas of Open City about it and have not yet
received a reply. We think Philadelphia would be an ideal
location, convenient for both groups.

We hope that David Berman wasn't just blowing smoke without
being truly serious.

--King Wenclas


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May 20, 2003:
The Masked Professor Accepts the Challenge!
 

Poet David Berman challenged the ULA to a read-off, but
wouldn't agree to our venues. We've found a new challenger! An
anonymous academic!

Since David Berman, who challenged us to a Poetry Read-off, has
turned down all venues offered to him, we have searched for,
and found, a substitute. Unfortunately, at the present time,
the person prefers to remain anonymous.

However, the Read-off will take place, in Chicago, as part of
the Benefit for Cullen Carter fundraising show. It will present
The Academy versus The Street: "The Masked Professor" versus
ULAer Michael "Mad Dog" Grover. Yes, we have someone from
academia who will be reading, and yes, he will be wearing a
mask, which is the only way he agreed to do it. No matter. It
will be an exciting part of the upcoming extravaganza. Grover
was the ULA's choice to read against Berman. I've talked with
the anonymous professor, have read his poetry, and believe
he'll be a more than adequate David Berman substitute.

--King Wenclas
5/20/03
Leah Smith with the Masked Professor.